What do you typically eat in a day, different from your spouse?
Ooh, fun question!
My husband and I eat a lot of the same things, but there are many areas we differ in too.
The main area we differ in is the flour department. I prefer my diet to be very low in flour (breads, pasta, chips, etc) which is not the case for him.
Here's an example: When we make spaghetti for dinner, I will have Zoodles and he will have pasta.
How many of your meals do you plan?
Currently I plan breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
As a solo business owner who does a lot of planning, critical thinking, and decision making every day, it's CRITICAL to reserve my brain power for those tasks instead. Planning everything ahead of time allows me to work hard and then just enjoy my meals and give my brain a break!
Thanks for your question!
I struggle with eating healthy and cooking as a single person
If we were in a session together, I would first get super curious with you to find out what exactly you mean when you say you struggle to eat healthy and cooking as a single person. This way, we could get really clear on the facts vs your interpretation of the facts. For example, one person might say that eating one Oreo a month means they struggle and another person might say not eating at least X-amount of fiber every day means they struggle. Write down all the reasons you believe your statement is true and then go back and sort out facts vs opinions/interpretations of those facts.
Then, once we got super clear on the facts vs your thoughts, we would then examine how your beliefs and thought patterns are affecting your eating and cooking habits and then create a plan of how to get you to where you want to be with your health and cooking goals.
Managing your mind is always the most important, but I would also recommend having an efficient and reliable meal planning system in place to take the guesswork out of what to make. When we don't have a plan in place, it is much easier to reach for the foods we don't actually want for our long-term wellbeing. Having a plan, an efficient system in place, ingredients on hand, and a managed mind is the recipe (no pun intended) for meal planning success!
Thank you for your question, and reach out to me if you need more help!
I still have trouble viewing food as fuel vs pleasure. Any advice?
Great question! There is SO much I could say on this topic, but I will condense it down.
What is the reason you don't want to view food as pleasure?
If it is because you are overeating (feel free to message me if I miss the mark here), ask yourself: "what do I believe about food that is causing me to over-eat?"
Some examples (fill inthe blank with your foods)
We can see how these thoughts can create an urge to overeat right? But before we try to go changing your beliefs, first question your current thoughts.
Great questions can help set loose old thoguhts and beliefs as well as direct the mind to think new ones.
Here are some examples to get you started:
_____ makes movies 10x better.
I had a hard day, I deserve _____.
The best way to celebrate is with ___.
Life is short not to eat ____.
Start there & follow up if you'd like to dive deeper into this!
Why do I believe this?
How is this belief not true?
What could someone else believe about this?
How is it true that I have access to an abundance of pleaseure from sources other than food?
How could the belief "food is entertainment" be false?
How can food be both pleasurable and a fuel source?
How to resist placing your expectations on your partner, especially as it regards to food?
We LOVE our partner/spouse etc, don't we. But it would be so much easier to love him/her if they complied with all of our requests right? 😆 I think everyone can relate to this!
This doesn't apply to just partrners, but all humans.
First have grace with yourself. The reason you want your partner to change is so you can feel better. So it makes sense you want your partner to change.
We think that if only they would change, it would solve the problem.
But, that creates a problem because then you have to rely on your partner's compliance with your requests in order to feel better.
We know we can't control our partner/spouse because s/he has free will. Maybe we've tried through telling them to change, making passive aggressive remarks, getting upset etc.
We then have to ask ourself if we want to be showing up in our relationship like that...and usually we do not.
So what do we do if we want ot feel better and we know we can't (and don't want to) control how they behave?
1. Ask yourself what exactly would you want him/her to change in a perfect world. Allow yourself to be as outrageous as ou want and get it ALL out. Then ask yourself what would you be thinking and feeling if s/he were doing all those things perfectly. Then, show yourself how you can be thinking and feeling that way right now without him/her changing ANYTHING.
2. Get super CURIOUS about your partner and why they are behaving the way they are. Get curious about the "math".
Your math is....
Partner is doing or not doing the thing
You believe s/he should be acting different or that s/he is causing a problem.
So then you feel annoyed/frustrated/ or some other negative emotion.
Then you in turn end up acting in ways you don't want to in your relationship based on that negative emotion.
As a result, you end up adding a problem into your relationship.
So what's his/her math?🤔
Get curious like a zoologist studying monkeys or a scientist observing an experiment.
Remember, we can makes requests of other people OF COURSE. We just shouldn't tie our emotional state on whether they comply or not.
If this topic leans into the subject about boundaries (something you will or will not allow in your life), that is a separate topic for another day.
Do you have any advice for eating leftover chicken? It's always so dry and gross.
Yes, I just use melted butter! I warm it up in a glass container in the microwave with melted butter and it tastes DELICIOUS. Don't forget to cover it with a damp paper towel or microwave cover.
You can also just add the chicken to soup or mix it in with another dish like casserole.
Can't eat it before it goes bad? Just freeze it and then try the above two ideas when you are ready to use it.
Tips on dealing with the feeling of anxiety....
Anxiety is just a feeling. It's a vibration in your body caused by our thoughts. Normally we react to anxiety by either acting it out, trying to numb it out, or trying to ignore that it's there, but this doesn't do us much good and just makes the situation worse. So once you've recognized it and named it as anxiety, here are three ways to allow the feeling to process through you:
1: Get it all down on paper
2. "Play" with the emotion
Dump everything in your head down onto a piece of paper.
Go through and separate the facts from your thoughts about the facts. Facts are something that everyone in the world could agree on. It's not an opinion or judgement. Thoughts are your interpretation of the facts.
Describe the feeling of anxiety like you would to an alien who had never experienced anxiety. Be very specific. What does it look like? What shape is it? What color? Is it fast or slow? Hard or soft? Open or closed? Notice how the emotion changes the longer you observe it. Get curious of the emotion and how it resonates in your body.
Practice belly beathing. Not from the inhale, but from the exhale. Slow, steady breath ALL the way out. Remember, the goal isn't to get rid of anxiety or make it go away. The goal is to alllow the emotion. Not with judgement but with curiosity and compassion for yourself.
See if you can increase the anxiety and then decrease it. Seeing that you are 100% in control of your emotion is an empowering thing. You can also delegate a period of time where you will allow the feeling of anxiety. You allow it the space and the time but on your terms.
How should I prepare for a coaching session?
Great question! Here are some tips on how to prepare for coaching to get the most out of it:
* Come with a beginner's mind (open-minded and eager to learn)
* Ask yourself how your best self would show up (on time, note taking supplies ready, distraction-free, stable internet connection etc).
* Be willing to feel any emotion and be vulnerable.
* Go ALL in- the more you put into it, the more you get out.
* Post session- Implement! Results come from doing not consuming!
Also, don't worry if you don't have a topic in mind for a session. I am always prepared to guide our conversation, so there's never any pressure for you to know what to talk about ahead of time. However, if you do have a topic you would like coaching on, it can be helpful to write it down ahead of time!
I'm trying to build healthy habits, but it feels like there's too many to prioritize! Any advice?
The thought "there are too many healthy habits to prioritize"- how does that feel?
Overwhelming? Discouraging? Frustrating?
When we are feeling overwhelmed or discouraged, it usually leads to inaction such as procrastinating, buffering (Netflixing, eating, scrolling, etc), and thus we do not take the required action to reach the goal of building the habits we want to create.
It can be helpful to constrain your focus, meaning choosing one thing to zero-in on. This limits the number of decisions you need to make and have more disciplined thinking and action towards that goal.
You've got this! ❤️
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